We are faced with so many choices in this day and age that being able to distinguish between when we are making a bad choice, or are in the grip of fear, is becoming more important than ever. We can make fear our best friend to ensure we make choices that are aligned with what’s best for us.

It’s not only the small choices of what way you want your coffee – turmeric latte, chai latte, macha latte, flat white or a green tea?

It’s the bigger decisions too, for example, whether you build a new home, buy existing or simply choose that making a commitment like this isn’t for you.

So how does one know if they are about to make a bad choice, are in the grip of fear or it’s the body wisdom indicating that this is a time to step forward out of one's comfort zone to grow in one way or another.

Do you believe in intuition? Do you trust your gut?

Each individual makes their decisions in different ways. Some are more prone to use their head, others their heart or others that gut feeling.

Here’s what I’ve come to find is important – that we use our head and heart to make choices that are in alignment with what we truly want for ourselves.

You can reflect on what sensations your body gives you as indicators of when a choice feels right or not for you and then use this to guide you forward on the next choice you are making. When did you last feel these sensations?

In order to be able to make balanced decisions like this, it is always good to be able to use strategies to be able to connect back to oneself.

Next time you have a bigger decision to make, check in:

-       What does the head say 

-       How does it feel in your gut

-       How does it feel in your heart

Let me use the example of building a new home…


A good place to start could be becoming first clear on what is important for the decision that is being made. For example, with a home, this would first understand what is most important for the community one wants to become part of. In getting an indication of this, then this becomes the compass for all other choices.


Visiting the community and getting a sense of the body as to how it makes you feel as you drive through the streets, watch that sunset or stand on your lot. Trust your head and gut here – are you excited and happy for the future?

Great ways to get out of the noise, the fears, the limiting beliefs and opinions of others so that you can connect back to your own voice could be:

-       Taking a walk in your current neighbourhood to get a sense of what you do and don’t love about this neighbourhood to assist in making decisions on your future neighbourhood

-       Meditation

-       A yoga class to settle down the monkey mind

-       Taking some time out from making any decisions for a couple of days to clear the mind and come back to the decision with a fresh mind

-       Journaling all ones fears out and reading through these and gaining a deeper understanding

The fight or flight system – is a very helpful process that alerts us to perceived threats. If we can recognize when we are in the grip of when this is activated within us, then we are better able to bring our body back into a relaxed state, to assist us in ensuring we are able to make choices from a centered, grounded and place of clarity.

Fear can become your best friend. It can be used as your trusted guardian throughout the process of making choices, as a reminder to check in with your head, heart and gut, to ensure you are making choices, which are aligned with what is most important to you.

Next time you are in the grip of fear – look around and smile to recognise that the lion is not chasing you and try one of these strategies. 

Madeleine Powley